Insecurity is a Beast
The other night, I went out with a good friend to chat about life and business. As self-employed women, we often deal with the same insecurities surrounding managing a business and a family. At a crossroads in her career, she mentioned to me she felt like she just wanted someone to tell her what to do. My brain screamed at me loudly: "Oh, my, gosh. You too, Britta! You have no idea what you want to do when you grow up. Someone needs to tell you."
As a business owner for over 5 years and working photographer for 12, I would have thought I would have worked this out by now. By god, I'm 34 years old (a fact I often have to check as I regularly forget how old I am). Yet, I envy those who with clear goals. Those miraculous folks who can articulate their dreams and ambitions farther than 3 months from now. Is it fear that holds me back, or maybe indifference? Is my brain filled up with unnecessary distractions? Maybe I simply lack that entrepreneurial spark?
Insecurity is a beast.
I always wanted to be a storyteller. First with words, then with images. In college, I told myself that writing gave me too much anxiety; photography was a more natural way of storytelling for me. But in retrospect, I think I've gotten it wrong. It was a lack of confidence, or maybe laziness, to dig deeper and think beyond the black and white. I see this in my photography work as well. It's always almost there but does not show a full and vibrant story. If I am going to call myself an artist and a storyteller, this needs to change.
I started this little blog today as a way for me to work out a few of my insecurities so that I can become a better business owner, storyteller and human being. Opening up hasn't always been the easiest task for me. I'm as midwest as they come. But in order to grow my business and find my true path, I really believe this is something I need to force myself to do. So, if you're not scared off by insecure, sometimes salty, often inarticulate Britta, hang on. It should be an interesting ride.
In the meantime, I'd love to hear your experience with insecurity and ways you've found to combat them. Leave your thoughts in the comments.